Not a poem of lyrics but part of a true story that is my life…may my hope in the pain help others ….

UPDATED , reposting 4 yrs. To the day of her passing. Glory to God and his resting place in his arms we are embraced and I will not refuse the comfort that the Lord gives so lovingly, so softly🌹🌹 ————————————————+Sometimes, well lets be honest majority of people do not have the upbringing we would’ve chosen, mine as not an exception either…one of the pains is the death of a woman I hardly knew even though from birth till my early teens I lived among her..my mother..though it is complicated to say the least she had a disdain of hate, or at least a extreme dislike for me most of my life. Thank God the last yr of her life she grew a softer heart. She died in the hospital on lifesupport after a grueling 3 days due to her using a belt to kill herself..I was the last person to talk to her on phone right before it happened. My brother found her and gave her cpr as her late husband stood over her body not helping..much more but I will spare some details… I suppose after 2 years I have learned to somewhat grasp that relationships dont always go the way you would want, and not knowing what having a mothers love truly feels like. With that God gave me hope as she was lying there unable to speak or anything as me and my brother prayed over her, the Lord as a whisper was telling me to let go… I remember some private time the day before I sat next to her body lying there with the machines breathing for her, holding her hand and praying asking God to Grant her salvation, and If for some reason she could hear me, I prayed and spoke outloud with tears, asking God if this for some reason that I cant explain is the only way for her to escape death in the spiritual sense to take her, but if she could awake and miraculously be healed and live on earth and make it then to do that.( as she suffered from what the world calls bi polar manic depression)..I spoke to her many things, apologies included, and prayed asking her to choose Jesus as her saviour in hopes she could hear me..as I was holding her hand, noticing how much they look like mine, I tried to speak her into moving her fingers to move, but nothing..the Lord again thru the night kept whispering to let go..God has truly given me hope that just like the theif on the cross that the Lord decalred would be with him that day in paradise so as my mother as well. I am writing this in hopes for some reason maybe, just maybe someone will be comforted by a piece of my life, and it also helps me open up a part of me..May the Lords Glory fill the air as his breath( spirit) breathes true life into his people, and leads us away from darkness….blessed be the name of the Lord.

6 thoughts on “Not a poem of lyrics but part of a true story that is my life…may my hope in the pain help others ….

  1. I looked at her and thought, “You fought for me!”

    After; leaving the place, I said to some people:
    “Were so many battles, battles and battles… and now rest has come!”

    The next morning, I was in her room, in front of her TV; sitting in a small chair beside her bed empty …
    She was gone …

    One of my sisters came in her house, and sat on her bed, talking to me; while the younger brother was standing at the bedroom door…

    Another of our brothers came home in tears and lay in her bed; and said:
    _ “I can not take it!”

    In an instant reflex, I answered him:
    _ “You will! You will! Because one day, when your daughter looks at you, she will think, ‘My father fought for me!'”

    Then he calmed down. I’m sure he understood.
    He understood that I meant our mother. He understood that his responsibility to himself, his family, and his daughter was in his hands.
    And I think my brothers have been good parents.

    Entrepreneurs are revolutionary people, even small merchants, and my mothers were. They believed in GOD, and walked toward the GOOD, as best they could and with all their might, and sought to go, take us together, and teach this. I understand it. And I also know that the struggle of my grandparents and parents during their lives, and even now, after deaths, continues to have the same effect: faith, courage and hope, humility, intelligence and work, honesty and generosity.
    Today, I also know, that The LORD ever looked after us.

    “Then I heard a voice from heaven say, ‘Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.’

    ‘Yes,’ says the Spirit, ‘they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them.'”
    Revelation 14:13

    Liked by 1 person

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