Striving in solitude

I have come to the more deep realizations as seasons pass by

“Surrender deeper ” that’s what my soul is aching

That is what I believe the spirit is speaking

Moments of silence and Solitude year after year, wondering when the Lord will allow the Open Door to appear

And again as deep calls unto deep it’s that moment of sensing that phrase “deeper, deeper surrender”

There’s no time to feel sorry for ones  life, self-pity is an agent of of darkness

Trying to put a snare to net my feet but praise be to God for Cutting Loose the tie that binds

As I sit here on my own having others speak how much you can do and say for the glory of God to be in such a place

Pleading with the Lord to send me a word of what to do and where to go

Then I realized again “deeper surrender , deep calls unto deep keep seeking the Lord go deeper and deeper and deeper let it peak”

I know how different I am, as I meditate on prophetic truth and realize there’s a time and there is a place there is a moment and a huge wide open space

Maybe I am meant to walk this journey alone through what feels like a desert of solitude and thorns

But then I am brought to truth, the Lord sees all and hears all .

this world is passing by and by the aching dread of going deeper and deeper not knowing what I will find but knowing that the Lord is within me and guiding my steps gives me a sure footing that I will make it home in his timing in the way of keep seeking keep walking keep searching

Others try and speak words of their own wisdom which out of love I listen

But I am not making myself closed in I’m not hiding myself from others or from within so I know it is the Lord’s choosing to keep me in the Solitude at place where I feel at times I’m almost going to break

Year after year season after season moment-by-moment trenching through knowing that the narrow road is right up the next Hill

There must be others in this place or who have traveled through this terrain oh how I wish for songs and seasons of embrace

Vanities of vanity leave my side for others look at me and say hey you got it girl take it in stride

The spirit within me wants to yell out loud” is there anyone out there who understands and is not proud”

But instead I just write poems of intensity at times knowing there will be a moment when the season is over and I will look back and praise God that I made it through with his Waters breaking for spreading making a way for me to walk

Wondering if anyone near that understands these words of depth that I am going through

And then I remember again the Lord sees all and hears all and the timing the Lord sees fit if I am blessed to hear , he will speak to me yet again in the power of His waves

Like a strong rushing wind going up and down my insides

……………… then meditate on the word of Yeshua the king of kings and Lord of lords the one who is coming and will not hold back ” be of Courage I have overcome the world”